the contestant

Stephen Baldwin:

Stephen Baldwin, The AmericanI can also be seen still dancing among the finalists on Dancing With The Stars. For my last performance I have chosen the Mexican Four-Buttock Polka.

The dance is a physically, emotionally and spiritually demanding combination of extreme foot and body work, based on ancient Mayan choreography and religious ritual, and so I shall be dressed in purple sequins and a cowboy hat.

I’m hoping my footwork makes Nijinksy look like a “crippled Kulak from Smolensk”.