Santa’s looking for all the help he can get and has outsourced the entire North Pole operation to Bangalore.
In an economic slump and a subprime mortgage crisis, it’s expensive caring for a workforce of elves and a herd of magical reindeer. “Dashing through the snow appears wasteful,” wrote Jon Methvan, “Certainly not a prudent act in uncertain times.”
The Bangalore work for one-quarter the cost of North Pole elves. The real cost savings is replacing the reindeer, but water buffalo won’t fly or dash or prance so Santa is mostly herding them down the street.
Now Amar, now Kalik, now Lakshmin and Dharmesh
On Vishnu, on Sandeep, on Rajiv and Mukesh
To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall
Now go eat some hay. But not too much.
“You’d better watch out, get ready to cry, You’d better go hide, I’m telling you why ‘cuz Santa Claus will take you to hell. He is your favorite idol, you worship at his feet, but when you stand before your God He won’t help you take the heat. So get this fact straight: you’re feeling God’s hate, Santa’s to blame for the economy’s fate, Santa Claus will take you to hell.” – Westboro Baptist Church