bully parents and failed morals

The way we raise our children today in this country is increasingly depriving them of the practices that lead to well being and a moral sense.

When I learn I do not cry. Who are the bully parents that teach their children with tears?

Pause for something not brutal. Foraging hunter-gatherer. Humans far before this Dominionist era. That’s 99% of our history. Were they parents? Were they good parents? Answer: Are you here?

Darcia Narvaez:

Ever meet a kindergartener who seemed naturally compassionate and cared about others’ feelings? Who was cooperative and didn’t demand his own way?

Chances are, his parents held, carried and cuddled him a lot; he most likely was breastfed; he probably routinely slept with his parents; and he likely was encouraged to play outdoors with other children.

Foraging hunter-gatherer societies gave their children better mental health, greater empathy and conscience development, and higher intelligence.

Characteristics of child rearing that were common to our distant ancestors:

  • Lots of touch and no spanking, but nearly constant cuddling and holding;
  • Prompt response to fusses and cries. You can’t ‘spoil’ a baby.
  • Meet a child’s needs before the brain is flooded with toxics.
  • Breastfeeding that builds real immunity.
  • Care beyond mom and dad. Love for this child.
  • Free play with multi-age playmates. Or risk ADHD and mental health.
  • Childbirth which provides mothers with the energy to care.

The U.S. has been on a downward trajectory on all of these care characteristics. Go figure.

“Kids who don’t get the emotional nurturing they need in early life tend to be more self-centered. They don’t have available the compassion-related emotions to the same degree as kids who were raised by warm, responsive families.”

Error and turmoil or utter sloth? My children would generally invite and celebrate my interruption. I was not their worry. Life does that. I am something wanted, to look forward to; to trust. There is good here. A little alarm. A little serious. A little adventure. A little fun. Much warmth. And a lot of new and better choices. The only correction. See?

Tools. There is good here, and here, and here… That’s discipline. That’s parenting!