A Contract With America. A Pledge to America. Mission Accomplished. For goodness sakes how many times are we going to fall for this prank?
I pledge that I will actually read the Constitution before pledging to uphold it. And I pledge that if I am too stupid to understand its intent, I won’t become a politician.
I pledge not to start two wars, give tax breaks to millionaires, ruin the economy and then get mad when someone shows me the bill.
I pledge not to be a hypocrite or a Tea Party Republican – whichever comes first.
I pledge to remember that religious freedoms apply to all religions including the lack of a religion. And I pledge to remember that no matter how much I believe in my religion, I will remember that my neighbor believes in his religion just as much. And finally, I pledge that if I believe in my religion too much I will keep it to myself.
I pledge to stop calling Sarah Palin a stupid bitch when she finally admits that she is too stupid to run this country. At that point I will simply call her a bitch and let the stupid speak for itself.
I pledge that I won’t hate gay people in public and then sleep with them in private.
I pledge to accept the fact that John McCain really can’t pull his head out of his ass at this point. It’s in too deep.
I pledge not to be shocked when Rick Sanchez announces his new show on Fox News.
I pledge to remember that there are 6 billion people in the world and only 300 million of them live in the United States . And with 300 million Americans to choose from, we can’t do better than John Boehner? Really?