Why don’t I have a girlfriend?
Tristan Miller of the German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence refuses to spend his life brooding over a lack of luck with women.
This is a question that practically every male has asked himself at one point or another in his life. Unfortunately, there is rarely a hard and fast answer to the query.
Many men try to reason their way through the dilemma nonetheless, often reaching a series of ridiculous explanations, each more self-deprecating than the last:
Is it because I’m too shy, and not aggressive enough?
Is it my opening lines?
Am I a boring person?
Am I too fat or too thin?
Or am I simply ugly and completely unattractive to women?
When all other plausible explanations have been discounted, most fall back on the time-honoured conclusion that “there must be Something Wrong™ with me” before resigning themselves to lives of perpetual chastity.
Tristan says, “I refuse to admit that it has anything to do with some inherent problem with me. Instead, I am convinced that the situation can be readily explained in purely scientific terms, using nothing more than demographics and some elementary statistical calculus.”