Satan's dark plan, right?

Oh, it gets worse in this witty diatribe:

Hell, as any good Christian will tell you, the Net is packed like a perky Vegas whorehouse with godless heathens, too: perverts and nonbelievers and hyper-intelligent Buddhists and smart-ass Wiccans, yoga lovers and kinky reformed Catholics and delightful “spiritual cowgirls” who would no more kneel at the altar of wholesome Christian values than they’d eat a stack of greasy McDonald’s Filet-O-Fishes and eight pounds of deep-fried Snickers bars and move to Alabama and get diabetes and call themselves a patriot.